Marriage

How to Build Trust In Your Marriage

June 17, 2019

Happy Monday! I hope you all had a great Father’s Day weekend! We spent the day by the pool and it was perfect! Family time and lots of laughter is so good for the soul. This post has been one sitting in my drafts for a long time and I wrote it months ago, rewrote it and then this morning, I rewrote it again. The life of an enneagram 6…always overthinking. Let me be the first one to admit that trust is not something that comes easy to me. It is something I have to work on daily and be intentional about. I am constantly reassuring myself and needing constant reassurance from my husband. It is annoying (even for me at times) but it is how I am wired. I am not wise in this area, but after quite a bit of reading and research on the subject of trust and marriage, I feel prepared to share this list. If it is something you struggle with or if you are going through a rocky time in your marriage or maybe even a newlywed or newly engaged, my hope is that this will be a helpful starting point for you! I urge you to read what the bible says on the subject and to seek wise counsel.

When Ryan and I first got engaged, I read about five marriage books. I studied what the bible said on marriage. I wanted to know what I was getting into and wanted to feel as prepared as possible for that big life-altering step. I talked to older and wiser people about marriage, asked for advice and then some! I was sure I wanted to spend my life with him, but I wanted to do it right. I wanted (and still do) our marriage to be forever. Everyone had the same answers – keep God at the center of your marriage, communication is key and trust is vital.

How to Build Trust In Marriage:

Be open and honest with one another – even when it is hard.

Respect one another.

Communicate often, more often, and then some more.

Spend quality time together.

Be reliable – Don’t say it unless you plan to follow through with it.

Be quick to forgive (and apologize when you have done wrong).

Be genuine.

Manage your expectations with yourself and your spouse.

Show integrity – keep things private that your spouse has asked you to.

Take responsibility for your words and actions.

I found this quote and absolutely loved it and thought it would be the perfect way to end this post. “Real trust is not a trust that waits and hopes but a trust that acts from who you truly are. Real trust requires the discipline of being who you are in every circumstance and in every relationship. Real trust begins with yourself.”

20 Ways to Respect Your Husband

February 18, 2019

Confession time: I am very stubborn and strong-willed. I shouldn’t be a bit surprised that my children share these qualities. I am definitely paying for my raising. (ha) When the bible talks about the relationship a wife should have with her husband, two words come up many times: respect and submit. You can imagine I struggle to submit to anything. I mean, I can argue with a brick wall – very rarely do I ever back down or “submit” to anything or anyone. Submission is not a pleasant thought for me, but it is commanded and therefore something I am constantly reminding myself to do, even when it is killing me on the inside. (haha) Respect, however, is entirely different. I easily look up to and respect my husband. He is a very easy person to respect, so I guess I have it pretty good, but regardless we are told as wives to respect our husbands. I am constantly trying to find ways to do this and will get into that below, but I would love to know what you do to respect your husband?

At Home Date Ideas

February 4, 2019

Valentine’s day is just around the corner and Ryan and I definitely spend February 14th at home these days. Not only do we both agree on avoiding the crowds, we also have 3 kids under 5 with another one on the way. That makes going out very difficult and very expensive. We definitely do not let that stop us from making the most of our evenings and finding creative ways to have fun from time to time. We haven’t quite decided what we want to do this year for Valentine’s day, but last year we played 20 questions and learned so much about one another. It was actually really fun. We ended the evening with a movie and popcorn. Here are a few ideas for at home date ideas for those of you who are in the same boat as us!

21 Ways to Bring Fun Into Your Marriage

January 30, 2019

We all get stuck in a rut or in our day-to-day routines every once in a while. It can be nice to remind each other that you still care and want to have fun in your relationship. Creating fun and prioritizing your relationship is essential to a happy and long-lasting marriage. We have been thinking of ways to bring fun into your marriage over the last couple of weeks and here is what Ryan and I came up with together!

Words of Affirmation for Husbands

October 22, 2018

One of my husband’s love languages is words of affirmation. I think this is a really common love language for men because words are a driving force for most of them. It can motivate, encourage, or if used in the wrong way, they can destroy. I am a huge advocate of speaking life into my people. I’ve personally seen the difference it can make in my children, friends, family and husband. Giving someone life, setting the mood for the day, these things are many times determined by our words. They are powerful, my friends. Today, since we are coming off of a wonderful family weekend, I have my guy on the brain, so here are words of affirmation for husbands:

3 Ways to Keep the Spark Alive in Your Relationship

January 12, 2018

One of our goals this year is to go on at least one date a month. We decided to make this a goal this year because last year, we did not do a good job of doing anything alone. We definitely did not date. It’s sad, I know, but we had three kid’s under three and amongst other things, it just was not easy to get away. While we did not feel that our relationship suffered by any means, we did decide to make a point to spend more one-on-one time together this year because it is important to keep the spark alive in your relationship with your spouse.

My mom out of the blue called me one day to ask if she could come over and watch our kids so that we could go on a date. I can not even tell you how excited we were! We ended up going to a movie (The Greatest Showman – you NEED to see it!) and dinner – just the two of us! It was so much fun and a much needed break from the kids. It was also just nice to get out with Ryan and do something fun for the first time in over a year. Sad, I know.

Weekend Update

February 9, 2015

This weekend was equally crazy, scary, exciting, fun and about a million other emotions. At my doctor appointment on Thursday, we found out that when our insurance policy changed, so did the amount of money we will owe the hospital after baby. Let’s just say that number grew by an extra zero. So there was that. Even better? We had just purchased brand new furniture the day before and it was literally being delivered to our house while I was at the doctor. To say that news stressed me out is an understatement.

We are absolutely thrilled about our new couch and chairs. It is so exciting and terrifying to make a big purchase like that, but I’m so thankful we did and our house finally feels like it is coming together a bit more. I even caught Hampton enjoying his bible stories book on one of our new chairs. As soon as he spotted me with the camera, he began showing off. haha He is a mess.

Friday and Saturday, Hampton stayed with his grandparents while Ryan and I attended a marriage conference. It was such a blessing to gather with other Christians and refocus our marriage on God and putting Him in the middle of our relationship. We learned a lot about how to deal with conflict and decisions which was really interesting and definitely encouraged us.

All in all it was a great weekend. New furniture, working on our love, and a baby-free night! While I did miss Hampton terribly, it was so nice to have a night off. We haven’t had that in a very long time.

How was your weekend?

So This Is Love

October 8, 2014

A lot has happened in the last 3 years of our marriage. We have been through a lot of good times and bad times, but I am so thankful for both of them because they made us so much stronger. We have a wonderful little boy who we can’t imagine life without. We have a beautiful home filled with lots of love and laughter.

Ryan,

You are my best friend and my rock. You are the one person I can tell anything and everything to and know you won’t betray me. You make me laugh. You make me smile. You make me mad to tears when you leave the toilet seat up or wash Hampton’s bottle with the same sponge that you just sprayed Clorox on. You put up with my extreme childish ways of always wanting to go to the pumpkin patch or look at Christmas lights and you don’t ever say a word when I overdo it on the decorations for Halloween and Christmas. I love the way you offer to cook for me when I’ve had a bad/long day. I love the way you are always serving others. I love the way you forgive people who have wronged you, even when they have done it time and time again. You are so strong. You are a wonderful leader and example of Christ to me and our son. You are always encouraging me and helping me stay positive even when I slip into my old ways of being negative Nancy. You help me see things and people in a different light. You have made me a better person. God seriously blessed me with the best husband and friend I could have ever hoped for. I’m not always easy to put up with, but thank you for loving me through it all. Happy Anniversary! Here’s to 100 more years of happily ever after!

I love you,

-Logan

Change is Good

December 14, 2013

I hate change. There. I said it. Change makes me anxious. I am the type of person who loves lists and lives by a schedule. When that schedule is interrupted, it throws me off my game. Although the interruptions are daily and way too often for my liking.

Via

With that being said, our family is undergoing a pretty big change. Not only do we have a new baby and are still trying to get him on a schedule and adjust to life with him, Ryan also just accepted a new job! It is a huge answered prayer and blessing. He is excited about it and I am excited for him.

Here is the thing…I have worked from home for almost three years now. I love what I do and I am so thankful for my job because it allows me to be home with Hampton. Ryan’s new job will also require him to work from home. That’s right. 2 grown-ups working from the same home with a new baby. It is going to get pretty interesting, folks. Let’s just pray we don’t drive each other crazy!

I am excited about this new change, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little worried about how it will all work out. God is in control and he knows what he is doing. I trust in his plan wholeheartedly, so I know this is going to work out. But don’t be surprised if we start a reality show soon…

How is God working in your life? Are you going through any big changes?

Love and Marriage

September 4, 2013

I’ve been talking a lot about pregnancy in my corner of the internet for a while now because that is the stage of life I am in. It is important to me that I also focus on my marriage, no matter what else is happening in my life. When it comes to priorities, my husband is second only to God. Our relationship is extremely important not only for our health and happiness but also for our children’s well-being.

I recently started a devotional by Kay Arthur called A Marriage Without Regrets. It was recommended to me by another Alabama blogger, Kalyn. I am so grateful for her because this is a study I needed to be doing right now. Please visit Kalyn’s blog. She is so inspirational and encouraging.

In the 5th chapter, we discussed love in marriage and Kay reads from Ephesians 5:25-33 which says:

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her26 to make her holy, cleansing[b] her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”[c] 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

This talks a lot about love and the commands that God gives to husbands on how to love their wives. As wives, we are also called to love and respect our husbands in this way. Kay talks about the fact that love is not just an emotion, it is a choice. You hear all the time about how people are divorcing because they “just don’t love each other anymore.” Can I just say that that’s bull? If love were just an emotion, it would not be a command. Love is so much more. Kay lists out:

Love requires action.
Love demands deeds.
Love wills.
Love acts.
Love moves on behalf of it’s object.

I believe we can apply this not only in our marriages but also in our relationships with our families and friends.

If you are interested in doing a devotional on marriage, I highly recommend this book. It has caused me to refocus my attention and actions on my husband in a very positive way. It is very encouraging and the prayers at the end of each chapter are beautiful. I’m so blessed to have a wonderful marriage with God in the center of it, but we could all use time to refocus on our marriage, daily.