I remember when we first found out I was pregnant with Sophie. My heart immediately broke for Hampton. I looked at this little 9 month old and felt so guilty that he was only a baby and would soon be a big brother. It didn’t seem right. I felt like I was being robbed of time with my baby boy, in a weird way. He was barely a toddler when she was born and he had a very hard time with it. Over the months, that guilt faded as I began watching them play together and laugh at each other. Hampton can cheer Sophie up a lot quicker than I can most days. She adores him and he loves her so much. They are the best little buddies.
Recently, that second child guilt has been replaced with the guilt of us not being able to find a new home. To say this momma is frustrated would be an understatement. I am beyond ready to have a house of my own again and Hampton has been asking about our “new house” nearly every day. He loved his room at our old house and I know he misses having that. I know he is ready for things to get back to (our) normal, and I am, too. Despite us looking at 1,000 houses, we still can’t find the right one. Apparently finding a 4 bedroom house with a garage and yard in a good school district is very difficult no matter which city we look in.
I have been trusting God through this entire process and I know He will send us where we need to be. We are really really ready, though.
Mom guilt is a totally normal thing and I’m sure I will feel it throughout my entire life over one thing or another. I will probably even look back on this time in a few months and realize exactly what was happening that I couldn’t see at this very moment. Things will be clear to me and I will say “Oh, I remember when I felt so guilty…”
Have you been experiencing mom guilt lately?