Becoming a mother has been the most amazing and natural experience. It still rocked my world like I assume it does most people. Reading every book in the world will not prepare you for the selflessness it takes to be a mother.I prayed throughout the entire pregnancy for patience and wisdom to raise my child. I would not be making it today without God’s help with both of these things. I’ve actually been shocked with the amount of patience he has blessed me with.
I have honestly loved every step of the process. My pregnancy wasn’t perfect but it was an incredible experience. In fact, I told Ryan that I could not imagine it being my only pregnancy. I would have 4 more if he let me. haha The moment I saw my baby boy, my heart melted. He was exactly how I pictured him. I just knew he would have my brown eyes because brown is a dominant color. I knew he would have his daddy’s nose because that gene is strong in his family. I also knew he would have hair because the ultrasound tech told us he had a head full at our last visit. He was everything I imagined, but so much more.
From the moment we arrived home from the hospital, I was extremely overwhelmed. Not only was I feeling very uncomfortable from the episiotomy, I also walked in to a house FULL of company. I immediately felt like I had to entertain. I probably should have sat down and relaxed, but that is hard for me to do with a house full of people. We ended up having guests until 10:30 that night. I was exhausted, hungry and I lost it. I balled my eyes out to Ryan (bless his heart). The first 4 weeks of Hampton’s life were like this. We literally had company over every day and night for 4 weeks straight. I didn’t think we would ever get back to our normal lives again, but finally we did. Once we started getting out of the house and doing things like taking H to church, shopping or out to eat with my friends, it was amazing the difference that it made. I had a life again!
My mom was also supposed to stay with me for the first week home, but only ended up staying for two nights because of some other things going on at her home. That was tough. I felt really stressed about being alone with him so soon and while I was still trying to heal. It actually worked out well because it forced me to do it and it proved to myself that I could do this whole mom thing and do it pretty well.
I was joking with my dad the other day about how it was only 10 a.m. and I had been pooped on, peed on, spit up on, and sneezed on. He said: “so does this mean you aren’t having anymore?” and I said “absolutely I am!” haha It really has been so natural for me. Falling into this new life and new routine has been a huge adjustment but now that we have done it, I couldn’t imagine my life any other way. It has obviously had its challenges at times, but it has been so wonderful. Those first few weeks were tough with all of the company and lack of sleep, but it was also such a wonderful time. I enjoyed showing off our baby boy to all our friends and family.
If you are about to experience motherhood for the first time, all I have to say is don’t ever think you are prepared, because you aren’t. The only advice I will give you (because everyone has been giving you advice and it’s annoying after a while) is that you need to be prepared to be unprepared. Everything you’ve read will go flying out the window. That schedule you’ve worked out will not work for your baby. That rock n’ play you bought for him to sleep in for the first few weeks? He won’t sleep in it (yes, that happened).
I didn’t expect:
to cry so much during the first week. I cried because I felt fat. I cried because the baby cried. I cried because it was his first Halloween and I couldn’t take him to the Trunk-or-Treat at church. I cried because the Halloween episode of PLL was SO good. I cried because taking a shower was the best thing in the world. I cried over everything.
for breastfeeding to come so naturally. I heard so many horror stories of breast feeding. EVERYONE told me it would hurt, but it didn’t. People told me abouthow their milk supply was too low. Mine wasn’t. People told me how their babies simply wouldn’t latch on and just couldn’t get the hang of it. Mine did it perfectly the first time. I was preparing for the worst, and it has been a wonderful and fairly easy thing. I will say that I was not prepared for how demanding it is. YOU are the only one who can feed him. YOU have to be available 24/7. That part has been tough and very confining.
Your hormones will be all over the place and it will take a little while for them to settle down. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Throw (not all but some) of the advice that people have been so kind to offer out the window and do what works for YOU and your baby. Don’t ever ever ever compare yourself to other moms or your child to other children. Your child is a special gift from God and is his or her unique person. Treat him/her as such. Pray in the mornings, in the shower, in the car, before bed, while your baby is screaming, and when they smile the first time. Pray all the time. Mosty importantly, LOVE your sweet baby and every moment with them because it really does fly by so quickly. Enjoy all of those special moments.