The last two days have been a complete whirlwind. My dear friend, Shane, went to his eternal home to be with our heavenly father and savior. I am still trying to process everything. It doesn’t seem real. I feel like he is still here, just at the hospital or at his house, but he isn’t. Why can’t my mind comprehend that? Some moments I’m completely numb. Others I can’t quit crying. A couple of times I’ve been angry. More than once I have asked, “Why God?”
The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18
This was God’s plan.
I am trusting God. I’ve seen some pretty incredible things that He has done. I’ll never understand why He didn’t choose to heal Shane, other than he must have been missing an incredible piano player, drummer, and singer up in Heaven and wanted our Shane there to take over. And I’m sure he has had no trouble doing just that.
Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10
My heart is broken. Shane has been one of my best friends since I was 18 years old. He was there for me during a time in my life when I felt like I had no one. He encouraged me. He was always so positive and was an incredible friend.
Shane was an incredible pianist and singer. He would silence a room with his talent. He is probably the only person in the world that could get away with playing and singing “Easy Like Sunday Morning” at a wedding (my wedding to be exact). Every time we were together he would always start playing his keyboard and sing to us for hours. We would join in and those are some of the best memories I have. He would always let me sing “Follow Through” by Gavin DeGraw with him. I would try to harmonize and he would pretend to not be horrified by my voice and he was so kind to always let me sing it with him. He was going to be famous, you know.
“Oh, this is the start of something new. Don’t you agree? “
Shane gave the best hugs in the world. I will miss those hugs so much. His brother, Kurt hugs the same way, and they have made me smile over the last week.
I am so thankful that Shane is no longer in pain. I’ve seen so many people writing in his Facebook group where he kept friends and family updated, and although I haven’t been able to read them yet, I know they reflect the incredible legacy he left behind.
Shane was in the Air Force and served our country in Kuwait during the Iraq war. He was married to his wife, Paige for almost 3 years. He was 30 years old.
Paige is an incredible woman. She is 23 years old. She is the strongest person I’ve ever met (other than Shane). She is selfless, and taught me how to be a wife. She has been by my friend’s side through it all. She has taken such wonderful care of him. We are all so grateful for her. I’ve never seen him as happy as he was the day he married her. He has smiled ever since.
I can’t tell you how much I already miss him. My human brain can’t wrap my mind around this yet, it doesn’t understand God’s plan, it’s angry, it’s sad, it’s hurting, but it’s also relieved that he is no longer hurting. While I am missing him terribly and always will, I know that I will see him again one day.
You were an incredible friend to me. You were the most kind and gentle-hearted person I have ever met. You always saw the good in everyone. You were so forgiving and you loved so much. You had a big heart. You taught me so much – about love, faith, marriage, kindness, and of course, music. You were brave and strong and such a fighter. You have kept us all so positive and encouraged through your trials and pain. Which is kind of backwards, but that’s just you. You saved your friends. You gave me some of the best friends I could ever hope for – Mike, Amira, Dozier, Anna, and your beautiful Paige. I don’t know what I would do without them. I don’t know what I would’ve done without you. You introduced me to my husband – the love of my life. I will be eternally grateful to you for that gift. Without you, I wouldn’t have him. I wouldn’t have Hampton. You were there for every milestone in my life and I was there for yours. We had so many laughs, and hugs. You had the most incredible voice and you will be heard by many. I can’t believe you are really gone. I don’t want to believe it. I love you. Ryan loves you. We will miss you until we see you again.
You’re in His hands.